Someone Special: A HikaruKaoru Alphabet
by abbytemple
Summary: This is my second alphabet story. 26 one shots about the twins and what they do in their spare time and all the stuff people don't see them do and other private moments. All the things in the alphabet to write about. Warnings: twincest, fluffiness, swearing later. Any other warnings will be listed in the individual chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so I've written one alphabet story before kind of as a tester. In my opinion, it didn't come out very well though. So I'm writing another one. Hopefully a better one since I learned from my mistakes.**

**I don't own Ouran…I wish I owned the twins. Or if the twins owned me…all the things that would happen if they did. **

**A is for Attention**

**Kaoru's POV**

What did I have to do to get this boy's attention? I didn't know whether it was just me, or if Hikaru was actually ignoring me for the first time ever. The feeling was tormenting, and I thought he was doing it on purpose. But it made me sad to think that he would ever want some time without me. I started to think, what if I wasn't satisfying him enough? Does he still love me as I love him? I thought for a long time until...I started thinking about the past. What if I could somehow recreate the past to get his attention back? What had I done before that got his attention for a while? I thought back to the day where I pretended that I was sick so I wouldn't have to go on that date thing with Hikaru and Haruhi. I played sick then, what if I played sick now? Would he fall for it?

I crawled back onto my side of our bed, where I was before, trying to wake him up. I realized that this was one of those weekend days that he wasn't going to get up anytime soon. So I decided to lie there quietly until Hikaru woke up.

"What if…?" I started to ask myself, but stopped not wanting to wake up Hikaru. I turned to face him to see if he was still asleep. I watched him toss a little but he was thankfully still sound asleep. I loved to see him so calm, so quiet, so full of beauty, even when he sleeps. It was rare for him to lash out, but it was very possible for him to. It was mostly because there were times where he felt unhappy, unimportant, unloved, and unwanted. In the end, I always made him believe he was important, loved, and wanted…because he was. That there were just moments that made him unhappy.

I was always the only one to make him happy again, especially when we were little. Whether it was a small argument that hardly ever happened, or if I got hurt and he freaked out. I was always there to put a smile on his face. I've done the same for all the 15 years we've lived.

"Uhh…Kaoru?" Hikaru groaned. I turned to see that Hikaru was awake. I smiled, thinking about my plan for the day.

"Hey," I said quietly. Hikaru smiled back at me before closing his eyes and opening them slowly and tiredly.

"What do you want to do today?" Hikaru asked, taking one of my hands.

"I don't know…I don't feel very well," I started to play my role for today, even though I played a role every day in school.

"Why? What's wrong?" Hikaru tilted his head, looking at me with worried eyes.

"I feel funny and my head is spinning," I faked, putting my hand to my head as if I was having a headache.

"Oh…then we'll stay in bed today," Hikaru felt my forehead. "You don't feel warm, that's good," Hikaru sighed.

"Ok," I said quietly, not knowing what else to say or do.

"Come here," Hikaru whispered, holding his arms out for the first time in a while. I smiled and crawled into his arms happily.

"Hikaru?" I started, but didn't know if I should finish my sentence.

"Yes?" Hikaru looked down at me. I just stared at him for a few seconds, not saying anything.

"I..I..forgot," I stuttered slowly, but quietly. I laid my head on Hikaru's shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Kaoru," Hikaru shook me a little to get my attention back.

"Yeah?" I asked, opening my eyes.

"Have I been ignoring you lately?" Hikaru asked cautiously, as if he was saying what I was thinking.

"No," I lied, not wanting him to feel like he had not paying attention to me, even though he wasn't.

"You're lying," Hikaru took my face in his hands bringing my eyes up to his. He looked different, a different that was hard to describe.

"I am?" I questioned not only Hikaru, but myself.

"Yes, I always know when you're lying," Hikaru smiled slightly.

"You do?" I continued questioning.

"I do, and I'm sorry," Hikaru apologized, making me laugh.

"It's just like you to do something like that," I told him the truth.

"It's true if you say it is," Hikaru laughed with me.

Once upon a time things were said with meaning. Now they were just…well, said. Most things were said without meaning or any type of riddle to them. What if "once upon a time" meant something else than what people really thought it meant?

"What's right is what we feel is right," I always said, and most importantly. I meant it.

"You weren't really sick now were you?" Hikaru asked randomly.

"No, no I wasn't, I just needed a reason to stay here with you," I told him the truth this time instead of a dumb thought out lie.

"You don't need a reason, I'll be here anyway," Hikaru laughed awkwardly. I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips.

It was true that I didn't need a reason. I knew that Hikaru would always be there for me no matter what the situation was. We just had to do what our hearts tell us to do. This whole thing with our brains telling us something and then our hearts telling us something else didn't matter. It was only what we thought that we could do together. We didn't listen to what people in the outside world had to say. We just did what we though was right in our world.

**I'm sorry if this ended up making absolutely no sense whatsoever. It's 1:00 A.M. here so I'm tired. I hope you liked this anyway and I'll see you next chapter.**


	2. B is for Blindfold

**I'm back already! I can't get enough out of writing about the twins so this is why I do alphabet stories. This one's kinda…interesting. You'll know what I mean in a sec. I'm trying not to make this M so it won't.  
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**I don't own Ouran. I don't own the twins either *sad face*.**

**B is for Blindfold**

**Hikaru's POV **

If there was ever a reason for me to say something surprising about Kaoru, it would be that he gets extremely nervous when being surprised or surprising someone else. Even though his actions show how tense he gets during the process, that happens during a lot of other things too. I was the only one to actually know why. I was also knew the private reasons why he would get so tense. Which made it so incredibly tempting to tease him.

"I don't know about this, Hikaru," Kaoru tried refusing while trying to snake out of my grasp. I shook my head and spun him around so he was going in the direction I walked him to.

"Trust me, you won't regret it," I smiled to myself, knowing what was planned. I couldn't wait to annoy the living hell out of him, as he liked to do to me sometimes. I wasn't about to give up such a brilliant plan that could end so well for the both of us.

"Something tells me I will," Kaoru groaned while I laughed silently to myself. I dragged Kaoru down the long hallways and to the door of our room. I stood him there and took a long breath, for once nervous about whether this would please him or not.

"Stand here," I told him, still somewhat smiling to myself. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a black silk cloth and put it over Kaoru's eyes.

"What are you doing?" Kaoru gasped quickly, as if he was scared that I would do something bad. For the first time in forever I was confused on whether this was okay or not.

"Relax silly," I continued and tied the cloth into a knot around his eyes to make sure he couldn't see. It was too late to go back now so I carried on with my thoughts.

"I can't see," Kaoru told me, reaching around his head trying to take the blindfold off.

"No, don't do that," I brushed his hands away, not wanting him to ruin my plan of action.

"What are you doing?" Kaoru asked. I was surprised he gave up on trying to take the blindfold off and he didn't try it again.

"You'll see," I wrapped one arm around Kaoru's waist and slowly opened the bedroom door with another. I opened the door and walked around Kaoru so I could move him inside without bumping into anything. I took his hands in mine and lead him over to our bed and carefully sat him down. Simple.

"We're in our room right? What are you doing? " Kaoru asked again, this time he slightly smiling. His smile made me feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. At least he was agreeing to go along with me.

"Be patient," I slowly walked over to the door and closed it shut, careful to make sure it was locked. I turned around, looking over Kaoru's actions. His breathing was calm, like it was most of the time. He looked how he would everyday. Beautiful. He fiddled with his hands which was something the both of us did when we were either nervous or confused. I walked back towards him, not trying to rush the moment.

"What are you going to do to me?" Kaoru asked, his voice coming out almost in a whisper. Underneath his blindfold I could see him blushing but trying his best to hide it. I climbed on the bed and sat behind him, wrapping my arms around him. I felt him flinch for a second before relaxing into my arms.

"Well, right now I'm just thinking about all the things I could do to you," I lightly kissed his neck, trying to undo the buttons on his shirt with my hands from behind him.

"Hikaru," Kaoru gasped. Light touches made him gasp or flinch, which made me even more experimental than I was the second before. I concluded that my little "plan" could be more fun than I expected.

"What's wrong?" I asked teasingly, as if we were doing our "scenes" at the club.

"Wh...what are you doing?" Kaoru asked for the thousandth time in a few minutes. This time I thought it was because he was in the middle of different feelings. I sometimes loved it when he didn't know what to do or what to say or what he felt.

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" I undid the last button on his shirt and carefully slid it off his shoulders. I heard his breathing slowly getting faster, as mine was the same so far.

"It feels like...I," Kaoru stopped, his breathing started to level out.

"Like what, love?" I asked tilting my head.

"Like something I've never felt before," Kaoru sighed heavily while looking down at the floor.

"Ok, good, I think you're done for the day," Kyoya casually turned the cameras off. The whole short movie thing was all Tamaki's idea. We didn't really have an opinion on it though. For some stupid reason, Kyoya agreed to it.

"What are you going to do with it?" I asked him even though I knew the answer all ready.

"You're smart enough, figure it out," Kyoya looked through the tapes, making sure everything he wanted to be shot was well...shot.

"Well then," I murmured and looked back at Kaoru.

"Well then," Kaoru shrugged, taking the blindfold off.

"The tape will be in the club tomorrow, I'll see the two of you then," Kyoya said the way he always would before leaving.

"Well that was odd enough, especially for us," Kaoru lied down on the bed in a comfortable position.

"Especially because they don't know what really goes on behind the cameras," I smiled and kissed Kaoru gently on the cheek before lying on the bed with him.

Practically all the ideas Tamaki came up with for us was done at some point. Even if it was all a joke. Even if it meant getting it all on tape. But some things shouldn't be shared on the internet or on tape. This was one of them.

**And this was one of those stories that always end up strange. Plot twist! PLEASE review, follow and/or favorite! **


	3. C is for Crutches

** I hope this ends well. **

**I don't own Ouran.**

**C is for Crutches**

**Kaoru's POV**

I guessed the lesson for that day was that it wasn't such a good thing for the theme of the day to be Renaissance...and I had proof of that. One, our outfits were the most part uncomfortable part and I kept having to fix it every five seconds because it looked strange. Secondly, props were everywhere, and they weren't even important for anything we were doing. Someone was going to get hurt. I finally decided that it was going out of control...and so was our Lord.

"SHE'S SOOOOO CUTE!" Tamaki screeched, grabbing onto Haruhi for dear life, not noticing that she was trying her best to get away from him.

"Here we go again," I murmured to myself. This was beyond typical, but it could also get extremely annoying from time to time once we realized that every day would be like it was.

"I know right?" Hikaru came up behind me and sighed. I could tell by the way he looked around the room that he though the same as I did. He had a look on his face that could clearly say that he was curious about what this day with the Club was going to end up turning into.

"I really don't want to know how this is gonna work out," I said in one long breath, not really caring whether I knew how it was going to work out or not. I just wanted to get home with Hikaru by my side without anything unusual happening. All I wanted was a day as normal as normal can get around here.

"Same, you know this is probably the most romantic yet strangest time frame ever," Hikaru made a good point, but I was still not loving it as much as my dirty mind probably should. But this time, my strange thoughts didn't start roaming my mind as usual like Hikaru.

"I guess so," I shrugged, but slightly smiling. I started to think how Hikaru thought that the Renaissance was somewhat romantic. The strange clothes, candles, no light really at all set up the perfect night in my opinion.

"What's that smirk for? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hikaru asked, making me start to smile even more.

"I can't help it, you brought up the conversation in the first place!" I argued, trying my best not to smile or laugh anymore than I already was.

"Now I know what to do for next Valentine's Day," Hikaru said in a sing-song kind of voice.

"Stop, stop it," I heard him laughing next to me and he knew it would make me laugh too.

"Ok, when are we starting?" I changed the conversation to something that was happening in, well...this time frame, as in about five minutes.

"A few minutes, we still have a little bit of time," Hikaru walked me over to one of the pink couches to sit down and wait.

I sat there thinking for a little bit. What else is gonna happen today? Sometimes I over think...make that all the time. Even if I do, what does that make me? Whatever, I'm still a strange person to be around I guess.

"Earth to Kaoru," Hikaru placed his hand on my knee. I looked back at him to find him smiling in a way that made me feel comfortable. His smile was so familiar.

"Yeah, what?" I asked in a whisper kind of voice, but not as quiet.

"Nothing, your eyes looked funny," Hikaru leaned back into the couch crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh thanks," I laughed sarcastically.

"I was kidding, but you did look like you were in your own little world," Hikaru proved a point. I did go to my own little world a lot. Most of the time I couldn't help drifting off knowing that I could be thinking about anything in the world other than listening to teachers lecture us about who-knows-what.

"You do that too, just not as much as I do," I told him honestly. Hikaru was the type to save his daydreaming for when he was the calmest possible, like at night. I would sometimes turn to face him and he would have the look in his eye that he would when he fell into a daydream.

"Alright, ready?" Hikaru asked me, noticing that our guests would be with us soon.

"I guess so," I sighed. I really wasn't but I guessed I was as ready as I would ever be.

I watched a mob of girls crowd the 3rd music room in a matter of a few seconds. It was amazing how girls acted about the things they were obsessed about. I understood that they liked people but I hoped that for their sake they knew that nothing exciting was going to happen.

"Wait, I forgot something," I lied, it being part of the act we were doing.

"He's can be so forgetful sometimes," I heard Hikaru laugh, making the girls giggle for no apparent reason.

"Back at ya," I whispered to myself. I walked across the room to the door but I suddenly tripped and fell. I landed on the floor with a thud, not feeling any pain at that moment. I quickly turned to get back on my feet but stopped due to a pinch in my ankle. This was not part of the plan.

"Kaoru, are you ok?" Hikaru rushed to my side in an instant. I shook my head, trying to reach out to him with one arm and pushing myself up with the other. Hikaru took one of my arms and tried to pull me up but I stopped him.

"Ok, ok, ow, ow, don't do that," I cried out. My ankle was throbbing more and more with each second. I could have sworn that it was swollen. By this time everyone had gathered around us to see what had happened. This obviously wasn't part of the plan.

"Move it, get away!" I heard Kyoya yelling at everyone.

"Kyoya?" I looked around grabbing at my ankle even though it made it hurt even more.

"Hey, is this real?" Kyoya made his way to me and mouthed the words instead of saying them. I nodded.

"This wasn't part of the plan," Hikaru whispered to him, trying to pick me up in a way that wouldn't hurt me.

"Ow!" I yelled unintentionally.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm trying not to hurt you!" Hikaru didn't let go of me, I could tell he didn't know what to do.

"Ok, try again," Kyoya suggested. I looked back at Hikaru and he nodded at me.

"I'm sorry Kaoru," Hikaru picked me up trying his best not to hurt me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him until he and Kyoya got us out of there.

**Back at Home**

"Ow, it still hurts you know," I complained. In the last 3 hours or so, I had gone to to hospital, figured out that I had sprained my ankle because of my stupidity, and had it wrapped up. The worst part being that I had to get around with crutches for the next few weeks...and I knew that Hikaru was going to love it.

"This is awesome," Hikaru laughed after helping me onto the bed.

"Yeah, for you, it's going to be hell for me," I groaned, but knowing that me being helpless would actually be amazing for Hikaru. Meaning that he could do anything to me.

"And it's heaven for me," Hikaru lied next to me taking my hands in his.

"I am not amused," I frowned at him. I knew I was going to be miserable. I couldn't even do what I'm supposed to do with Hikaru...at night.

"I am...so helpless," Hikaru teased me, only the beginning of the strangest few weeks of my entire life.

"I know I am," I propped myself on my elbows which ended up being the closest thing to sitting up at the moment.

"How'd you even trip anyway?" Hikaru changed the topic of the conversation.

"Shut up," I looked down, feeling my cheeks getting hot. I knew it was because I can be clumsy and foolish at times, it just had to be the worst of times for them to happen.

"I'm just teasing you know that," Hikaru leaned in and kissed me lightly. I smiled recognizing his attitude and actions to be the typical boy I've known since birth.

"I know but still," I really had no answer. I curled up into his chest and rested my head on his shoulder the best I could without dragging my leg too much. We lied there in each other's for a while until I started falling asleep.

I looked up at Hikaru and noticed that he had that daydreaming look in his eyes again. It was one of those times. He slowly opened and closed his eyes continuously until he heard me laugh.

"What?" Hikaru asked me looking at me this time.

"What were you daydreaming about?" I snickered, thinking back to earlier in the day.

"Very funny I know," Hikaru poked me on the nose and sighed.

"Was it me?" I asked, secretly hoping it was about me.

"Yeah, it's always you," Hikaru laughed as if I had just asked him the stupidest question on earth.

I guessed that a lot of stupid things I had done in the past had sometimes turned out well. In this case well...it was one of those times again.

**I hope this chapter was ok and not too rushed. I wanted to get it up as soon as I could. Happy Holidays! Please review!**


	4. D is for Drinking

**Hey guys! I wanted to write a chapter since I'll be on vacation until January 5****th****. Enjoy!**

**I do not own Ouran Highschool Host Club  
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**D is for Drinking**

**Hikaru's POV**

It wasn't until then that I finally found out that secrets that could be hidden behind such a beautiful smile, such a perfect person. I learned that there was an ugly side to everyone. That there was always something that people hid from society and kept to themselves for reasons that only they knew about. Why? There was always a reason why, even if no one believed that such a thing could happen to someone. Everyone has a part of their life that was never shared with anyone else. Something that they wanted to keep from anyone knowing and getting themselves into the situation. Something that was part of their dark side.

"Hikaru," I was quickly woken up by the sound of Kaoru calling my name, which wasn't very typical for our mornings. It was usually the other way around, and we would both still be in bed.

"Why aren't you still in bed?" I turned around to find Kaoru fully dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes looked red, like he had either been crying or hadn't been sleeping. He looked sad, but in such a confusing way that even I couldn't figure it out. I instantly knew that there was something seriously wrong with him and as his brother and his lover, I was determined to figure it out.

"I just felt like getting up early today," Kaoru told me with almost no emotion traveling through his voice and it sounded a little deeper. For a moment he almost sounded like Kyoya.

"Why is that? There was no reason to," I crawled over to sit besides him.

"I know, go get ready," Kaoru sighed, turned away from me and walked over to the other side of our room to pack both our bags, leaving me in a depressive state. He never did that before, he never walked away from me, not ever.

"Ok," I said quietly and decided to shrug it off this one time and went to the bathroom to get ready for school.

I looked at myself in the mirror noticing nothing on me that I really considered special. Kaoru was and wasn't the perfect duplicate of me and I was and wasn't the perfect duplicate of Kaoru. But we had our differences and we had our similarities. What I wondered my whole life is why didn't society see that? I always let those kind of thoughts roam in my mind in the morning and I had no idea why. It was something that had always bothered me and it didn't seem like it was going to stop bothering me any time soon.

I brushed my teeth, my hair and put my uniform on in a matter of only a few minutes probably because I really wanted to talk to Kaoru. Usually we would stay in bed and talk for at least an hour before we got up and watch the sun rise. But today that didn't happen making me upset that it didn't happen. I was so used to it that it was the reason I wanted to get up in the morning. Also because I loved waking up knowing that the love of my life was right next to me.

"Hikaru, come on, let's go," Kaoru was waiting for me at the front door and handed me my bag, closing the door behind us.

"Hey Kao," I took Kaoru's hand in mine noticing that Kaoru was tense, but he still gladly held my hand. We got into the car and headed for a new day of school. As usual.

"Hey," Kaoru squeezed my hand and smiled slightly, not really sitting as close to me as he usually would.

"Are you ok?" I finally asked dreading a bad answer but it was what I had been meaning to ask him all morning.

"I'm ok Hikaru, really," Kaoru smiled again, but I still sensed that something was very very wrong, as a twin such as I should suspect.

"Are you sure? You never like to wake up early and you always wait for me to get up before you get ready," I pointed out giving Kaoru a concerning look.

"I'm very sure, it's ok Hika," Kaoru assured me but clearly not well enough because I didn't believe him.

I felt like it wasn't going to be a very successful day at school or at the club. I just had to go with it and see if I was right. Who knew what was going to happen at the club?

"You haven't even let me kiss you yet, you love it when I do that," I told him once I noticed that another part of our morning routine was screwed up. I kissed him every morning before we got up and when we were leaving.

"I know, I'm sorry," Kaoru didn't look like he thought it was a good thing anymore. I watched his face sink to an even more miserable look than he already had. The look on his face made my heart break and I let myself cuddle into him a little bit. I felt him flinch and his heartbeat get faster but he soon got into a comfortable position in my arms. I couldn't help but smell something strange, it was strong but I didn't know what it was. It was kind of bad but I couldn't explain what it was. Alcohol? No it couldn't be. I shook it off and placed my mind somewhere else.

"I love you, you know that right?" I ran my fingers through Kaoru's hair comfortingly. I really hope he had heard what I said and I meant it more than anything.

"I know, I love you too," Kaoru nodded and looked up at me with his cute smile. It was the first time that day I think I saw a real smile on Kaoru's face.

"I hope so," I whisper mostly to myself without noticing that Kaoru was still in my arms.

"Of course I love you, don't ever think that I don't," Kaoru told me. I smiled to myself but my mind still wandered, wanting to know if Kaoru could lie about such things. I knew that he wouldn't but I knew he was lying about something else. I would find out one way or another and I knew that I wasn't going to let myself rest until I figured out the answers to my questions.

"I know," I didn't realize that I was even talking. After that, I practically stayed silent for the whole day until Host Club because I kinda had to speak then. I could feel Kyoya's icy glare staying on Kaoru and I throughout the whole hour and so on. Our Lord was as normal as our Lord could get, which wasn't very normal to be honest. Everyone else seemed as normal as they could be and I thanked goodness for that.

I watched Tamaki for a while and how he handled his guests with care and whatever his little secret was. I always handled Kaoru as gently as I possibly could but today I seemed a little rough. I was nervous enough to be that close to him when I knew he was keeping a secret from me. I started to figure out that the more nervous I was, the less gentle I could be. I obviously didn't do it on purpose though.

"Hikaru, you're hurting me," Kaoru whimpered as our guests got up to leave. The girls didn't notice, but when Kaoru told me I was hurting him I saw that my hand was frozen around his wrist and my hand was starting to hurt from squeezing him.

"I'm so sorry," I jerked my hand back, not wanting to hurt him more. I didn't want to hurt him at all, and yet I did. I wrapped Kaoru in a gentle embrace which he gladly leaned into.

"It's ok, you seem to be really distracted," Kaoru looked up at me, most likely noticing that my hands were shaking slightly.

"I guess I am," I confessed crossing my arms to hide my hands because I didn't want Kaoru to see me showing signs of being nervous.

"Why? What's bothering you?" Kaoru asked me taking my hands in his. I could feel that he knew my hands were shaky. I let a moment of silence come between us.

"Let's go home," I held my breath, waiting for Kaoru to respond. I wanted to go home and go to sleep. I also wanted a private place to have a conversation with Kaoru.

"Uh...ok then," Kaoru just smiled, going along with what I told him.

I took his hand and we walked out of the Host Club together and we got into the car to go home. I let Kaoru lie on me, his head on my shoulder and my arms around his. The ride was silent, but something was telling me that it was more calm than I thought it was. Maybe it was because Kaoru looked so peaceful lying in my arms, or I was just delusional.

"Hikaru, we're home," Kaoru told me, seeing that I was totally on another planet.

"Oh right," I snapped out of my little daydream that I always get caught up in. The two of us walked up to our bedroom and as soon as we got there, I threw my bag on the floor and I totally collapsed almost missing the bed.

"Alright there?" Kaoru laughed a little, placing his bag on the floor next to the bed. I nodded, laughing with him for a moment suddenly remembering why I wanted to go home as early as possible.

"Yeah, uh," I started.

"I'm gonna go get something from downstairs I'll be right back ," Kaoru interrupted. I slowly nodded and sighed for what seemed like a really really long time. So I lied there waiting, and waiting, and waiting until I decided to go find Kaoru since it had been more than a few minutes.

"Kaoru? Kaoru where did you go?" I call for him walking through the hallway, checking every door. I remembered that he said that he was going to go downstairs so I went downstairs as well. I checked all the rooms that were on that floor and there was no sign of Kaoru. It was a night that Kaoru and I were going to be all alone so no one else was in the house except for us. I started to think about where Kaoru would go. We would always go anywhere together, especially one place. There was one room in our home that we loved to be in when we were little so I decided to go there but it was on the third floor not the first and our room was on the second. Anyway, I went upstairs again to find him.

"Kaoru? Are you in here?" I peeked through the door of one of our favorite rooms of the house. Kaoru was sitting on the couch that was up against a wall with a big window. He looked sad, his eyes were red and he was looking out the window with a look that I was afraid of. He obviously never heard me when I called him because he was so out of it. I had then realized that he had the same look on his face that he had in the morning. There was something really wrong with him, but I was for once, scared to confront him about it.

Kaoru groaned and took his head in his hands for a second then looked up with tears in his eyes. He shook his head violently as if trying to shake a bad thought away.

"What have I done? He'll never love me now, I'm nothing but a sick, pathetic drunk who doesn't have anything to live for," Kaoru sighed taking his head in his hands again hunched over his knees. That was all I needed to hear and see for me to burst.

"What do you mean?" I ran over to him and watched him look up at me in utter shock. I knelt down on one knee on the floor in front of Kaoru with one hand on his knee the other taking his hand.

"No, I...no," Kaoru was in one of his moments of panic. I got up and sat next to him and tried to calm him down. I lightly shook him by the shoulders and realized he was hyperventilating and Kaoru slapped his hands over his eyes and tried to breathe normally. I was scared and afraid he would somehow start choking so I did what I heard that should be done in situations like this.

"Hands over your ears, head between your knees now, you're having a panic attack," I pushed him so he was in the position that I needed him to be in and got on one knee in front of him again. I stared to rub his back and tried to calm him down by talking to him lovingly.

"It's ok, stay like this ok? It'll be ok baby, I promise," I hoped that Kaoru could hear me with his hands clamped over his ears. When I looked at his face, all I could see was pain and sorrow. His eyes were shut as if he were in a nightmare, tears streaming down his face, his hands were visibly shaking and it broke my heart to see him in this state.

"Hi...Hika...Hikaru," Kaoru tried his best to say something but couldn't without gasping.

"Don't talk, don't talk, ok?" I asked but more like demanded. Kaoru nodded slowly. "Are you ok to sit up now?" I asked after a little while, sitting on the floor to face him and take his hands off of his ears and keep them in my hands.

"Yeah," Kaoru sighed, slowly sitting up careful not to hurt himself. I got up and sat on the couch with him again and wrapped my arms around him and then Kaoru grabbed onto me for dear life and didn't let go. I leaned against the arm of the couch with Kaoru lying on my chest, still in a sorrowful state. I started to hum a tune that I used to comfort Kaoru when we were little. I never knew that I would be in this position again thought so I almost forgot it.

"You ok baby?" I whispered, sticking with yes or no questions until I felt like he could tell me the full truth.

"I think I'm...ok," Kaoru sighed and continued breathing in long even breaths as he knew to.

"Kaoru, can you come with me?" I asked wanting to take him to our room so we'd be comfortable and in more privacy just in case someone comes in.

"Yeah, ok," Kaoru got off of me and tried to stand up, his stance being a little shaky.

"Here, I'll carry you," I got up and picked him up bridal style. Kaoru wrapped his arms around my neck and I didn't think that he liked being carried.

"I can walk, I just feel dizzy," Kaoru complained. I walked down the hallway with him in my arms until we got to the stairs and I let him down.

"Ok, but hold my hand," I slightly smiled. Again for the second time today I smelt something that could or could not have been alcohol. I thought for a moment, I had smelt it earlier today when I was in the car with Kaoru, and I smelt it now, and earlier I heard Karou say "_ I'm nothing but a sick, pathetic, drunk"._ I gasped, almost stopping dead in my tracks. I had to grab the railing of the stairs to keep my balance.

"Are you ok?" Kaoru asked me, his eyes still a little red. I nodded without saying a word and continued walking to our room. I opened the door and closed it behind us after we walked inside.

"Lie down, you need rest now," I took Kaoru's blazer off of him and started to tuck him in bed.

"Hikaru, wait," Kaoru grabbed my arm before I had a chance to go to my side of the bed. I sat down next to him and let him take one of my hands in his.

"What's been with you Kaoru?" I brushed his bangs out of his eyes and traced my fingers down his face and took his face in both of my hands.

"I..." Kaoru started, but couldn't finish. I took his hands in mine.

"Kaoru...have you been drinking?" I somehow managed to get the words out of my mouth, even though I didn't want to say them. Kaoru sat up and put his head in his hands. I sat closer to him and tried to gently pry his hands from his face but he refused.

"Yeah," Kaoru started lightly sobbing. Watching Kaoru in so much pain and hearing what I was hearing felt like I was getting stabbed repeatedly.

"Oh my God," I sighed, trying not to sound disappointed even though I was. But I was also heartbroken and sad.

"I'm so sorry, please don't be mad at me," Kaoru begged, squeezing my hands. I looked at him, his eyes pleading and tears falling from them.

"I'm not mad, it's just...why?" I moved positions so that I was next to him.

"I don't know how to say it," Kaoru looked down at his lap and didn't look back at me.

"Start from the beginning," I wrapped one arm around his shoulder and Kaoru looked at me with sad eyes before starting.

"I thought that you were giving up on me, that you would go to Haruhi instead of me. You were ignoring me and spending more time with her so I thought that you had feelings for her, and I didn't know what to do so...I did whatever," Kaoru told me fresh tears falling down his face. I sighed, tears forming in my eyes as well.

"Why would you think that?" I wiped away the tears on Kaoru's face as well as my own.

"Because...because I thought you didn't love me the way I love you," Kaoru confessed sadly.

"But I do love you the way you love me," I smiled. I wouldn't hold him and kiss him as I do now if I didn't love him like I do.

"I know that now," Kaoru tried his best to smile.

"Know that I'll love you forever ok?" I leaned in to kiss him lightly but it turned into something more passionate than I thought. Kaoru threw his arms around my neck and I slowly but surely broke the kiss.

"What?" Kaoru pouted cutely. It made me smile for a moment but then I remembered what I actually broke the kiss for.

"I need to know something," I told Kaoru. He tilted his head in confusion.

"What do you need to know?" Kaoru asked. There was a lot of things I wanted to know but settled on one.

"How long where you drinking for?" I asked him seriously.

"Two weeks, why?" Kaoru said quietly. I didn't want to know but I knew that I needed to know.

"Are you addicted to it?" I almost choked on my own words.

"Oh hell no! It's not actually good I just liked that fact that I could forget everything, I swear," Kaoru explained. I believed him because I loved him.

"Promise you'll tell me if you ever feel like how you felt before, I'll fix the problem you know that," I promised him. I never broke a promise that I promised Kaoru and Kaoru never broke a promise that he promised me.

"I promise," Kaoru lied down pulling me with him. We were both tired and after today, we were tired of secrets.

"I love you," I looked into his eyes, I never lied when I looked into a person's eyes. If I lied, I wouldn't be able to look at them directly.

"I love you too," Kaoru did the same. He moved closer to me so that he was cuddled into my chest. I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms protectively around him. "Hey, Hikaru," Kaoru whispered.

"What is it?" I opened my eyes to see Kaoru smiling happily.

"We never had the perfect morning kiss," Kaoru pointed out. He really never forgot anything did he? That was one of the things I loved most about him.

"What can we do to fix that?" I joked around until Kaoru pouted. He also was adorable without trying.

"I know, I know," Kaoru acted like a little kid sometimes too.

"Oh do you now?" I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at Kaoru, who was still lying down.

"Do you?" Kaoru asked pointlessly. I laughed, leaned down and kissed him gently at first, our lips moving perfectly together.

Perfectly together, my favorite two words. It described Kaoru and I perfectly. There were some times where we weren't so perfect, but we always came together in the end.

**To be honest, I don't know where the panic attack came from. I'm pretty sure that Hikaru handled it well with the whole put your head between your knees type thing. Anyway, this was my longest chapter yet. I CAN SLEEP! Please review!**


	5. E is for Empty

**Hey guys. Finally done with mid-terms, other test, and my essay so I can go back to writing yay! I also just noticed that this chapter kind of has something to do with my essay as well. Not feeling the best so I wrote a little chapter to go along with my idea and brighten my night or day (whenever I finish this) a little even though this will be a sad chapter.**

**I do not own Ouran. I wish I owned the twins as usual. **

**E is for Empty**

**Hikaru's POV**

"Kaoru? Kaoru, wake up or you'll sleep through dinner," I leaned over the side of the bed, gently tried to shake my little brother awake for dinner, or he wouldn't be able to sleep the rest of the night. I was also kind of bored being alone while he slept.

"No," Kaoru whined pushing my hand off him and turning away from me. I sighed, I wasn't used to this kind of behavior coming from him. I rested my hand on his shoulder and gently shook him again.

"Come on now, you have to eat before we take a bath and go to bed. Doesn't that sound good?" I asked him in as soft of a voice as I could, trying to coax him out of bed.

"Sounds nice," I knew that Kaoru smiled for a second by the sound of his voice but he still didn't sound too excited about anything. Then he went totally quiet again as he was before.

"You ready to get up now?" I asked adding a hint of concern in my voice. Usually I only had to try to get him out of bed once before he actually got up. But apparently it wasn't going to work that time.

"You can go on without me," Kaoru mumbled pulling the covers on the bed higher to hide most of his face.

"What's wrong love?" I climbed onto the bed and lied down next to him, holding myself up on my elbow. Kaoru turned himself around facing me again and curled himself up in my chest.

"I just don't feel good," I heard Kaoru whisper. I ran my fingers through his hair comfortingly as I had always done and kissed the top of his head, the scent of his soap still identifiable from the other day.

"Do you know why? You haven't really eaten anything today, you may be hungry," I pointed out, trying to come up with ideas of why he was feeling the way he did.

"I'm sure I'm fine, I just want to sleep," Kaoru mumbled. I was curious why all of a sudden Kaoru had fallen ill, but I didn't want to put him in a bad mood so I finally decided to go with it and he'd probably eat later. I knew I'd make sure he would eat at some point today.

"Oh…ok then, I'll bring something up for you in 15 minutes ok?" I didn't really wait for a reply from him, I just got up before Kaoru could say anything back.

"Ok," I heard him mumble quietly behind me.

"Alright then, can I have a kiss first?" I asked softly, turning around and walking myself back to our bed. Kaoru half smiled and leaned up and closed the gap between us for a few seconds before parting again. I smiled in the inside for a minute, liking the way his lips felt on mine, and then they were taken away and I cried in the inside.

I took my time walking downstairs not really thinking about anything at all. I thought about Kaoru. Hell I always thought about Kaoru and I'd never get tired of having him on my mind. I just didn't know why this time I felt that something was wrong…really really wrong. I thought that maybe it was just me being protective, but I wasn't really sure it was about my protectiveness at that point.

For ten whole minutes I sat at the table alone and not used to being alone. The room felt empty and I didn't like it, it was starting to freak me out. I finished eating as fast as possible without getting sick that was. I took some of what was left over from the dinner and put it on a plate for Kaoru.

I didn't walk back to our room as slow as I was walking before. I just wanted to know if Kaoru was actually sick, or if it was something else. He never just got sick so suddenly before and the only time he ever did was before my date with Haruhi, and it was a fake sickness.

There was never anything wrong with Kaoru. He was always the happy, kind, beautiful person I've known my whole life. That was until that whole week when he'd been pushing me away sometimes when I wanted to kiss him or hold his hand. His mood swings were so strange that they were even making me confused.

I finally reached our bedroom and opened the door with one hand, the other holding the plate. I walked in to find that Kaoru was awake and reading a book that we had started together and he was rereading the beginning with a smile on his face.

"Hey, I brought you something," I placed the plate on the table next to our bed and climbed in bed with him. "What's been the matter with you lately?" I asked him cautiously.

**Kaoru's POV**

"What's been the matter with you lately?" Hikaru asked me, looking over me with worried eyes.

"I guess I don't know," I hid my eyes from Hikaru, still looking down at the book while pretending to read it.

"Hey, I'm dead serious, why are you acting different?" Hikaru put his arm around me and took the book out of my hands with his other and threw the book onto the floor so I would pay attention.

"Hikaru," I groaned, annoyed with his tone of voice and actions. This was one of those times where I hated that he was so protective.

"Don't 'Hikaru' me, you know it doesn't work," Hikaru told me, his voice dropping an octave.

"Try to guess what's wrong with me, you wouldn't be surprised," I decided to give up. I wanted him to remember because I remembered.

I wanted him to remember the day where we were allowed to go to Paris with our mother. When we were there Mother had to go to a meeting and left us to roam the building by ourselves. The people that were in the meeting with our mother also brought their children with them so Hikaru and I decided to talk to them since they looked near our age.

"How can someone like you be a fashion designer's son? I just don't see it, you don't meet the standards in well...anything. Looks, attitude, or weight," one of the girls there told me with a disgusted look on her face when Hikaru left to see if the meeting was almost over.

Now I lied in bed, not wanting to look in the mirror, go to school, or even eat. I believed what she said because that's what I thought of myself even before she said it. It was just that no one knew my dark thoughts. I was always in the dark, without a way to find the light. I thought I found the light when Hikaru promised to love me forever, but that only shed some of the darkness from my heart, not all of it.

"What are you trying to say? You know you can tell me," Hikaru said quietly, pulling me closer to him.

"Something else happened that day, something you don't know about and never did even before that day," I whispered mostly to myself but I knew that Hikaru could hear me.

"What are you saying? Tell me please," Hikaru took my face in his hands, forcing me to look up at him even though I didn't want to.

"You left me, in Paris, remember?" I slowly started, not wanting anyone else to hear our conversation. Like anyone would.

"I know I'm sorry, did something happen?" Hikaru softened his grip on my face and the look on his face told me that he was confused.

"I learned something. But it wasn't something good. I learned that the less I ate, the more weight I lost. I wanted to be the perfect designer, in looks that is," I continued to talk quietly, as if I was pretending that I was talking to myself. Which I was. I was just pretending that I was talking to the wall so I wouldn't cry or do something else that I would regret.

"I remember Kaoru, I shouldn't have left you alone, I shouldn't have let you hurt yourself," Hikaru sounded like he was choking on his words as he said them.

"There was one time, I didn't eat for three days so I could be perfect," I mumbled, not really wanting Hikaru to hear me. Just to say it to get it off my chest.

"But...you are the perfect designer Kaoru, you're the perfect brother, perfect lover, perfect everything. Why would you do that?" Hikaru's eyes were glazed with unshed tears. Seeing him in such a state made my eyes watery, but I didn't let myself cry.

"Because the only one I cared about liking me, was me," I simply told him, not putting much thought into my words anymore.

"But everyone_ loves_ you, everyone in the club loves you, and I love you more than anyone and I know this sounds very cheesy but it's so so true, I do love you," Hikaru let tears start to fall from his eyes, staining his cheeks. I could tell he was telling the truth. I knew that he loved me, and his unusual crying was obvious proof, and there were real tears and real words coming from him.

"I love you too, Hikaru," I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes but letting my tears fall anyway. We lied there wrapped in eachother's arms for a long time, not letting anything disturb us. For the first time in days, I felt that I could be at peace since there was nothing I was hiding from Hikaru.

"Are you asleep?" Hikaru whispered, as if he expected that I was asleep.

"No, just resting," I opened my eyes and smiled at him, making him smile back at me.

"I'll tell you what, how about you eat something then we can take a bath and just do our homework tomorrow since it's Friday?" Hikaru suggested.

"That sounds nice," I sit up, pulling Hikaru with me catching his lips for a quick kiss before going on with the rest of our night.

"Hey Kaoru," Hikaru grabs my arm before I could leave the bed.

"Yeah?" I gently place my hand over his, leaning back into the bed again.

"Come here," Hikaru lets go of my arm and hugs me tightly as if he were going to lose me the next day.

"What's the matter?" It was my turn to ask him that time.

"Don't hurt yourself Kaoru, you're to beautiful to be destroyed by anything," Hikaru whispered into my neck sending a shiver up my spine.

"I love you Hikaru," I pushed him away from me to look him in the eyes. His eyes always sparkled, even when he was sad.

"I love you too Kaoru," Hikaru wrapped his arms around my neck, toying with my hair.

"If I'm perfect, then you're even more perfect," I told him. I thought he was the more attractive one, maybe it was because he was older, or it was just because his face started glowing every time we were together. Either way, to me he was perfect. I hoped that he thought I was too.

**Finally. I'm sorry if this is rushed. Well that was depressing. It was a sad moment, but then it seemed to turn around. Hopefully much like life. Please review!**


	6. F is for Flaws

**Well, my last chapter sucked because I didn't know how to make that into one chapter and not make it really long. I hope this will make up for it because I like to make happy chapters, not sad ones. **

**I do not own Ouran. **

**F is for Flaws**

**Hikaru's POV**

The one thing that always annoyed the hell out of me was when I got a really good idea for something and forgot it almost instantly. This time, I was trying to write a poem and when I finally got a pencil in my hand, I forgot everything I thought of before. I sighed in frustration staying there sitting in bed with a notebook in my lap and a pencil in my hand.

"Damn it," I decided that I couldn't restart my thoughts to see if I would remember what I thought of before. It didn't work and it made me annoyed.

"What's wrong?" Kaoru looked up from next to me, while in the middle of his homework and noticing my frustration.

"Nothing too important, I just can't remember something," I sighed to myself, dropping the notebook and pencil to the floor in surrender.

"What were you trying to remember? Could I help?" Kaoru asked while putting his work away in his bag that was on the floor next to our bed then crawling back to sit next to me.

"I was trying to write another poem, but I forgot the words I thought of before," I crossed my arms and leaned back into the headboard.

"You usually never write. What was it about?" Kaoru asked noticing that there was a small change in my behavior.

"Someone who's very special to me," I took his face in my hands, caressing his cheeks with my fingers.

"Me?" Kaoru asked quietly, placing his hands over mine also while trying to hide the blush forming on his cheeks.

"Yes, you," I let our lips connect for a while, we let our lips also lingering not wanting to let go of each other.

"Aww, Hikaru," Kaoru wrapped his arms tightly around my waist after the kiss broke.

"I'm tired, are you?" I asked after a minute or two, really wanting to go to sleep so tomorrow I wouldn't fall asleep at the desk like I almost did earlier that day.

"A little bit, I think I'm going to go to bed now," Kaoru kept his arms around me and looked at the clock next to him that read 10:00.

"Me too, it's getting a little late," I agreed even though I wasn't as tired as I said I was.

"Why did I decide to do my homework so late?" Kaoru mumbled mainly to himself while changing into sleeping clothes.

"I don't know, why did you?" I asked while watching him change. I couldn't help it, I was already in sleeping clothes anyway and I was allowed to look at him like I was so I did.

"Pervert," Kaoru whined, climbing back into bed with me, diving back into my arms. I laughed while playfully starting to kiss all over his face.

"No wonder I'm a pervert, I can't help it you're so adorable Kao," I captured his lips again, kissing him harder and more passionate than before. Kaoru wrapped his arms around my neck, making the kiss deeper. I sadly decided to part with him before it lead to something else even thought I really wanted to make love with him.

"But you love me anyway," Kaoru smiled, keeping his arms around my neck.

"But I love you anyway," I knew I had the look of lust and love in my eyes at that moment, and it fit that time perfectly.

"I love you too...sometimes your eyes creep me out, but I love them too," Kaoru laughed a little, taking his arms away from my neck.

"You have my eyes too you know," I pointed out as if he forgot that we were twins.

"I know, and I'm happy that I do," Kaoru lied down, his hand covering his mouth as he started to yawn.

"Go to sleep beautiful," I whispered to him, petting his hair.

"Okay, goodnight Hika," Kaoru leaned up to kiss me goodnight. I let our lips connect for a light peck and then I quickly tucked myself into bed besides him, turning the night light off. I bent down to pick up the notebook once again and flipped back to my favorite page with a poem I wrote in class that day.

'_Maybe one day I'll be able to read it to him out loud,'_ I thought looking over my shoulder at my almost half asleep baby brother who was also my lover. I smiled to myself, silently reading it over again.

_The Perfect Someone_

_You sit there alone, but I watch you as you look content_

_My little lover, is your mind at peace?_

_I see how you daydream_

_And your eyes, oh how they shine_

_I can watch you and know  
><em>

_That you're the perfect someone_

_That you're the one for me_

_No flaws hide inside you_

_No flaws that could drown you  
><em>

_I love you, my perfect someone_

_May a forbidden love take me away with you_

_You're my everything_

_You're my whole world_

_You're my life, my perfect someone_

_I see how you look at me_

_With eyes full of love and happiness_

_You are my perfect someone_

_The one with no flaws_

I lied there thinking for a moment before closing the book and silently sliding it under the bed, hidden from anyone who might find it. I quietly turned around to face my baby brother who had almost instantly fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful, and I loved it when he had happy dreams.

"I love you Kao, you're so perfect," I whispered and gently kissed him on the cheek before comfortably lying down.

"I love you too Hika," Kaoru mumbled only half asleep. I moved closer to him and let him cuddle in my chest. I looked down at him seeing that his breathing was slow and steady. His hair wasn't ever messy and his skin was glowing. I smiled to myself again. He was perfect even when he was asleep.

**Awww I personally love this chapter so much right now. Please review, favorite, and or follow!**


	7. G is for Goodbye

**Hey guys. Here's another strange chapter from the strange me. I'm done with mid-terms! And this took me six hours to do. Cool. Enjoy though. **

**I do not own Ouran. **

**G is for Goodbye**

**Kaoru's POV**

I remembered the _first _time Hikaru and I were ever pulled apart, and all I remembered besides that, is that it was the worst day of my life. I remembered it like it we were just reunited a minute ago, I remembered it like it was just yesterday. I even remembered what I was thinking when I saw my older twin again and was able to wrap him in my arms again. It was the best feeling ever. The moment I took him in my arms and cried for what seemed like eternity. It was like falling in love with him all over again. But the feeling of being pulled apart, was a feeling I never wanted to feel ever again. Being ripped away from him was an experience that I never wanted to experience in the first place and never wanted to go through ever again.

We were fourteen the first time our parents tried to pull us apart and it was a little while after Tamaki asked us to consider being part of the Host Club. Since it was obvious that it didn't work that time our parents decided that it was time for us to stop being so connected to each other once and for all. Obviously we knew that they were going to try to separate us for a while to get us used to not being around each other all of the time. I tried to prepare myself for being taken away from Hikaru, but I always knew that I wouldn't be able to handle not seeing him for a long amount of time.

That summer is when our worst nightmare was put into reality for the second time. The summer before our second year. Most of it seemed like a bad dream until I was physically dragged into a room on the opposite side of the house so Hikaru couldn't get to me. All of it seemed like a blur at first. I remembered that Hikaru started fighting with our father before he grabbed me, telling Hikaru that we were living our lives inappropriately and that us being together all the time was wrong and it disturbed him. Hikaru grabbed me and pulled me back, hiding me behind him. That was when I woke up from what seemed like a nightmare and realized that it wasn't. It was happening right in front of me. I wrapped my arms around his waist making sure he wouldn't try to hurt anyone. In the end I was dragged out of our bedroom and I could hear Hikaru yelling and crying behind the door as our father locked him in. I heard Hikaru trying to turn the knob but failing miserably. I felt sick, lightheaded, and I wanted nothing more than for this to all go away the next day. I wanted to say something but the words were caught in my throat. It didn't have to be that way. They didn't have to do it like this, it could have been talked out. This wasn't the way to do this.

I was pushed into another room and I heard the lock turn meaning I was locked in as well. I didn't want to know how this was going to end. I already knew that it wasn't going to end well. I fell to my knees in the middle of the floor, realizing that almost everything I feared had actually happened in a few minutes. I crawled to the wall with my back against the door and curled myself up in a ball with my head between my knees and cried. All kinds of questions roamed my mind. The main one being, "_how long are we going to stay like this?"_. I wanted to know if Hikaru was okay, if he was crying as much as I was. I stayed there for what seemed like forever in that case. I knew it was getting late and I was afraid to sleep and I knew that even if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

Finally, after a while more, I stood up grasping the doorknob for support. I tried to turn it only to find that I was still locked in. I felt my eyes water and let fresh tears fall down my face as I tried to hold in my sobs. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to make myself seem weak even though no one was watching me. We were reunited after a few days last time, so I was hoping that it was the same this time and not any longer. But I knew that since it didn't work the last time it _would_ be different. I threw myself onto the bed, up at the ceiling and gasped almost too loudly. What if they found out about Hikaru and I being lovers? The thought filled my mind with different images of what would happen if that was to come true. Our parents didn't know about anything we had been doing. Only the club knew that we had romantic feelings for each other. I lied down and tried to stifle my sobs with the pillow but it seemed useless. I thought that it was the end for me. I knew it was the end but I also felt like this could be okay.

The next morning I woke up with an excruciating headache and I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt the sun beaming in my eyes and I pulled the covers up over my eyes to hide the sunlight. I sighed, knowing that it was best if I got out of bed and did something, whatever to make time pass. Even though I didn't want to and felt like I couldn't I got out from underneath the covers and noticed a box that was at the door that wasn't there the night before. I stayed lied down and stare at it for a second then got out of bed. I suddenly got my hopes up and rushed to the door and tried to turn the knob. It didn't turn. I sighed sadly before kneeling down and opening the small box and noticed enough clothes to last me about three days. Three more days? Including today? It seemed so near but yet so far away.

I took all the clothes out of the box until I noticed one of Hikaru's favorite shirts. I smiled, happily taking it out of the box and hugging it to my chest. I thought that it still smelled like him too, and it brought tears to my eyes. I wondered if he was okay, heck I was always wondering if he was okay. I looked down at the box and tilted my head to the side in confusion, seeing something I didn't expect to be stuffed in the bottom of the box. I placed the shirt on my lap and reached inside the box and took out a white folded piece of paper. I stood up, taking the shirt and piece of paper back to the bed.

I decided to quickly change first, scared of what the paper said and wanting to get all memories of the day before off. I slipped on Hikaru's shirt and a different pair of jeans and raced to get back to the bed and sighed. I opened the paper to identify the writing as Hikaru's. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Was he okay? Did he sneak in the letter? I read it slowly and silently to myself.

_Dear Kaoru,_

_I'm so sorry it's come to this. I'm so sorry that you're alone. I wish I could be there with you and hold you. This isn't fair, they should have at least tried to compromise with us. I put the box together for you and if you're reading this then I guess you found it. I hope that this letter comforts you since I can't be there in person. I swear every minute I'm trying to find some way to get to you. I will not fail. They can't keep us apart for long. As you saw in the box, they're planning to keep us away from each other for three days. At least that's what our so called "parents" told me. Its Thursday now Kao, so we'll be allowed to see each other Saturday night because today counts. I thought you should know. I thought that this would ease your mind and let you know that I'm thinking of you. I cried for you all night Kaoru. I miss you and I'm worried even though I know you're in the same house that I am. I just don't know where you are. I can't believe that they're doing this again. I love you to death. I want you to remember that Kao. I'm sorry that it's hard for me to speak this aloud every day without blushing and acting strange. I'm just afraid that you'd think it's weird. But I do. I do love you, and I will until the day I die. I feel like my heart is breaking more every minute that I don't know where you are. Remember what we told each other the day we confessed our love Kaoru? Till death do us part. I love you. _

_ Love, Hikaru_

Till death do us part. Of course I remembered, how could I not remember the best night of my life? I smiled, letting more tears roll down my face. I cried so much in twenty four hours that I was beginning to think that I was running out of tears. And why was he sorry? What happened wasn't his fault. I wanted him to be in the room with me and I wanted to feel his arms around me and feel his lips against mine. But I knew that wouldn't happen for a while.

The rest of the day was just me sleeping trying to make time pass as fast as I could and maids coming in with food when I was awake. They were surprised to find me smiling even the slightest bit. It was only because of Hikaru's letter. He said that he'd find a way to get to me. He always finds me, no matter where I am. The question was how and when? I just decided to keep my hopes up and maybe he'd find me.

The day seemed to go by a little faster than I originally thought it would. I smiled when I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw that it said 1:00 o'clock in the morning because it meant that it was the start to another day was an hour ago. I didn't really change into pajamas, I just changed into sweatpants and kept on Hikaru's shirt. I felt that it calmed me when I thought I was about to fall into a deep depression again. I lied down and noticed how tired I was even though I didn't do anything. I guessed that I was so tire of thinking. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before quickly falling into a deep sleep.

"Kao, Kaoru," I opened my eyes and gasped, instantly sitting up and catching my breath before speaking.

"Hikaru?" I couldn't see anything, it was too dark in the room and I was scared. Was it just a dream or was it real.

"I'm here," Hikaru climbed on the bed and sat next to me so I could see him in the moonlight coming from the window.

"Hikaru!" I cried and threw my arms around him not caring that I may have said that too loud.

"Shh, I told you I wouldn't fail," Hikaru whispered holding me tighter until I almost couldn't breathe, but I didn't care. He was there with me, and I was in his arms once again, where I belonged.

"Wait how'd you get here?" I pulled away from him and asked, still in shock.

"I kinda picked the lock in our room last night, and I followed the maids here so I knew where you were, and picked the lock to get in here but it doesn't really matter now does it?" Hikaru told me surely proud of himself.

"It doesn't matter, all that matters is that you found me and we're together again right?" I asked tears forming in my eyes again. I couldn't believe that Hikaru was so determined to stay with me. I was truly happy for the first time in a while.

"Right," Hikaru looked like he was going to start crying too. His voice even cracked like he was holding in tears. He never cried, ever. I was always the one that cried when something good or bad happened. But I still didn't cry too much. Those last twenty-four hours were the most I've cried ever.

"Don't cry Hikaru, you'll make me cry too," I brushed away the tears starting to run down his face.

"But you're already crying," Hikaru laughed quietly as I wiped away my own tears, not even realizing that I was crying too.

"I don't care, it's a daily thing now," I rolled my eyes, and at least I was speaking the truth.

"It was for me too, I was so angry I couldn't hold it in, I wanted to just break down the door and find you," Hikaru said as I let him pull me into his lap. It was nice to feel so close to him again, especially after such a bad day.

"Hika," I sighed, surprised that I hadn't attacked him with kisses the moment I saw him. I figured that we needed time to make sure that this was real and we weren't having the same exact dream.

"Shhh, not too loud now or you'll wake someone," Hikaru whispered, pushing me down so I lied on my back with him on top of me. He propped himself up on one elbow and let his other hand rest on my chest, playing with the collar of the shirt.

"Right," I remembered, my voice turning into a whisper. I was tense while trying to lie down in a comfortable position, trying to make sure the bed didn't creak too much.

"Relax baby," Hikaru kissed my forehead lovingly. I smiled and held his hand over my heart.

"Sorry, I'm just scared," I confess quietly. I loosened up and tried to relax my body even though I couldn't help being a little tense.

"I know, it's okay, we'll be okay," Hikaru leaned in and gave me a light kiss on my lips. I giggled quietly and felt him kiss my forehead, my nose, both my cheeks and down to my lips again.

"I hope so, oh, I hope so, if it doesn't I'm as good as dead," I say mostly to myself not really knowing why I said that.

"Hey, no, no, don't say stuff like that," Hikaru told me firmly, taking my face in his hands. His expression changed from sweet and loving to scared and confused.

"I'm sorry Hikaru," I whisper sadly. I didn't really know if I meant what I said or not. It was true that if this ended badly, I felt like I would have been better off dead.

"Don't be, just don't scare me like that Kao," Hikaru brushed my bangs out of my face and lightly caresses my face with his fingers.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just can't keep my feelings to myself anymore," I told him slowly, hiding my eyes form him.

"I know, I know, it's okay," Hikaru comforted me. This time he kissed me harder and for a moment I thought that my lips would bruise but the more his lips moved with mine the better it got.

"I love you Hikaru," I said breathlessly after parting with him. Hikaru's cheeks were red and I was one hundred percent sure mine were too.

"I love you too Kaoru, I love you so much," Hikaru told me lovingly while lying next to me and playing with my fingers.

"Can we do this every night until we are allowed to be together again?" I asked shyly hoping for him to say yes.

"Of course we can, I'll tell you what," Hikaru paused for a moment to think.

"Tell me what?" I urged him, wanting to know what plan he was coming up with.

"Sleep as much as you can during the day, and I'll come to you at one o'clock every morning," Hikaru explained to me with a smile on his face.

"What time do you have to leave?" I asked upset that he would have to leave me at some point.

"Five forty-five, I think, it's before the maids get up," Hikaru told me sadly, his smile disappeared.

"We only have about four and a half hours together?" I asked quietly as I felt my heart break in to pieces.

"It's better than no time at all," Hikaru tried to bring up my spirit.

"I know…but it's not fair," I didn't want to sound needy but I didn't like being taken away from him.

"I know it's not fair, but it's only for a few more nights, then everything goes back to normal," Hikaru pointed out.

"I can sleep in your arms again," I smiled at the thought. My eyelids were getting heavy and I was starting to feel really tired. I pulled myself into Hikaru's arms and closed my eyes for a minute.

"Are you sleepy?" Hikaru asked as he cradled me in his arms. I nodded slowly.

"But I don't want to sleep," I protested by opening my eyes again.

"If you do, you can fall asleep in my arms," Hikaru reminded me happily.

"But then you'll fall asleep and we'll get caught," I warned him in a serious tone.

"You can at least start to go to sleep, come on," Hikaru pulls the covers over us and holds me protectively.

"What if you fall asleep?" I ask slowly closing my eyes and starting to let sleep take over me.

"Then I fall asleep," Hikaru shrugged it off.

"But they'll find out Hika," I said sleepily.

"So what if they find out, they can't take you away from me," Hikaru whispered. He sounded angry and his grip on me tightened and I cuddled closer to him.

"I'll never let myself be taken away from you," I grabbed at his shirt, trying to tighten my grip around him.

"Good, because you're mine," Hikaru growled making me laugh, knowing he would get protective during the most random times.

"I'm yours, I promise" I poked his chest, then let my hand stay there.

"Give me your hand," Hikaru placed his hand out to take mine as if he needed permission to touch me.

"Why?" I opened my eyes again and let him take my hand in his.

"No reason, your hands are just so dainty," Hikaru teased me, kissing my hand and squeezing it.

"You're mean," I whined.

"But they are, and your hands fit in my hands perfectly," Hikaru started his romantic that he knew I loved.

"I know," I said in a light sigh, trying not to close my eyes again.

"You're so tired Kao, I don't want to keep you up," Hikaru wanted me to sleep but he continued kissing my hand. He knew I liked it, it made me remember that he's there with me.

"But I want you to stay," I complained.

"It's almost time Kaoru," Hikaru sadly realized that it was almost time for him to go anyway.

"Is it?" I closed my eyes slowly wanting so badly to stay awake but my body was not letting me.

"I'm afraid it is love, the sun will start to rise soon," Hikaru started to sit up but I opened my eyes and grabbed his arm before he could.

"Do you have to go? It's not morning yet," I held my breath hoping he would say that he would stay.

"I want to stay more than anything but if I do I'll get caught," Hikaru moved and got up off the bed.

"So you have to go," I sighed and felt a stab in my heart. Hikaru kneeled down at the edge of the bed face to face with me while I comfortably lied down.

"Hey, I love you," Hikaru caressed my face lovingly.

"I love you too," I smile. Hikaru leaned in to kiss me one last time. It really was like he was kissing me for the last time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, letting our tongues lock with each other. I felt like I was running out of air but I continued to kiss him for a long time that seemed perfect to me.

I felt Hikaru part with me and look behind me with a worried look on his face. I turned around to see what he was staring at to notice that the sun was starting to show and if he didn't leave soon, we'd be dead.

"I'll see you later tonight," Hikaru reminds me, rubbing my arm.

"I feel like it's thousands of years until then," I turn around to face him and whisper gently.

"But remember how we'll feel when those thousand years pass," Hikaru smiled, caressing my face, showing his loving side that only I know.

"You should go," I whisper sadly as Hikaru takes my hand and kisses it and sighs.

"I love you," Hikaru kisses me quickly.

"I know, I love you too," I say before Hikaru sighs again and hesitantly lets go of my hand and rushes to the door. I see him look back at me with a sad look on his face before leaving and locking my door.

I turned around to see how much the sun had rose. It was beautiful, the sun. The way it rose and its shining light broke the cold darkness of the night. It was just like Hikaru. The way he could take me away from my sad, cold, depressed state and made me feel happy again.

**Wow! That literally took me so long to do. I hope this turned out okay. Please review!**


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